The Most “Liked” Post Ever on MBB
August 3 at 7:34pm · Washington, UT
I bore my testimony at church today. I came out to my ward. It was a great experience. I’ve been wanting the courage to do this for the last 4 months. It surprised me how scary the actual thought of doing it, held me back all summer during testimony meetings. Today I knew was the day. It was break the fast, I prepared and decorated a fabulous meal, I was feeling good. I was the second person to get up. I don’t think I’ve ever felt my heart beat so heavily. I had no idea what I was going to say, all I knew was I needed to tell them about me. To the best of my memory it went something like this…
Good afternoon, my name is Colby. I used to never let the opportunity to bear my testimony pass me by. However the last few years I have hardly shared my testimony. I have known that I need to do this for the past few months, but have been putting it off. After my mission I had some experiences where I realized my life was not going to turn out how I had thought and been brought up to think it would go. My whole life I have wanted to be a husband and father. After much prayer and fasting I came to the conclusion that in my quest for obedience and righteousness, that it would not be appropriate for me to marry a woman…I am not attracted to women. That attraction never came like I had hoped it would. The past few weeks I’ve been working on a couple weddings. All these weddings and my upcoming 28th birthday have me feeling depressed and lonely. I’m usually I very happy person, but this past week has been a hard one for me. Friday night at the Gunderson’s wedding, I was dancing next to sister Gunderson (she’s the bishops wife, awesome woman) we were having a great time. The song changed to a slow. Sister G and I danced. While we danced, she despite all that was going on with her and her family, she asked me how I was. I expressed my loneliness to her. She listened, was supportive, she morned with me. I don’t always know why I come to church, but sister Gunderson is one for me, you all are reasons I come. My calling is a reason I come. The bishop really indulges me and we get to have some really good meals. Despite all my doubts, the biggest comfort I find, is in Gods love. I know that God loves each and every single one of his children. My testimony is Gods love, and that it is available to each and everyone of us, even when we don’t think possible. In Jesus name.
Looking out at the audience as I walked back to to my seat was an empowering moment. I was surprised by how many wet eyes and smiling faces I saw. Break the fast went well. All the members of the bishopric and two stake leaders, found me and warmly thanked me for my testimony. I could tell that some ward members were uncomfortable with me, but they were the ones who are uncomfortable with me decorating so much at church. So to have them be awkward was no biggie for me. I was speaking with one girl afterwards, I asked her “this can’t be that big of a surprise to everyone?” She responded “It was a bigger surprise to find out that you’re almost 28.”